Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Mammograms and Cell Phones

I went for my annual mammogram a week or so ago, which just isn't that big of a deal anymore. I made my appointment for 8am hoping that I would get in and out quickly, which I did. The new imaging machines are so high-tech that you only need four pictures, so it's a quick squish squish turn squish squish and you're done. I guess for some people it might be a little painful, but I'd much rather have a mammogram than go to the dentist-which I have to do next week-or have a pap smear.

I am always reminded of the old Saturday Night Live sketches with the Land Shark when I hear the word mammogram. Remember the shark saying 'candygram'? Try it, you'll see what I mean-mammogram-candygram. Do they send candygrams anymore?
So, what does my mammogram-insert land shark voice here-have to do with cell phones?

Well, first off, I really dislike cell phones or any phones for that matter, although they are good if you ever have an emergency because there is no such thing as a pay phone anymore. I just can't stand people who are totally lost if they don't have that thing stuck in their ear talking loudly about their mammogram or something. I really don't want to have to hear your (loud) conversation when I am in line at wal-mart or waiting for my mammogram.

So, back to the mammogram and cell phone connection. The entrance to the imaging center-where they have lots of really expensive equipment to take all sorts of pictures of human parts-has a really big sign on the door: No Cell Phones Allowed. I can read English and this was pretty clear to me that this means do not bring your cell phone in here. This does not mean No Cell Phones Allowed, but we know how important you are, so you can bring your phone in and possibly screw up our expensive equipment by using your phone, we really don't mind.
And, on the inside of the door, in case you missed it the first time is another sign: No Cell Phones Allowed.
Well, I'm assuming the woman sitting across from me talking on her cell phone-loudly-was either illiterate or one of the really important people.

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