Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Another Reason to Shop Online and Cats Will Eat You

First off, last week Keith went out to the coast to work the San Ardo Chevron oil fields, helping out the regular guy who works out there. He was going to be picked up early (5 am) by one of the sales reps who had to go out that way on Wednesday morning, so on Tuesday night I had to nag him to go to bed early which of course he didn't do. Anyway, I went to bed but had been having trouble with junk in my throat (phlegm, what an ugly but totally perfectly descriptive word) that made me feel like I kept having to clear my throat or hack it up or something. I'm trying to go to sleep and can't get rid of all the nastiness in my throat and I started feeling like it might just choke me to death while I'm sleeping. And if it chokes me to death while I'm sleeping, NOBODY WOULD KNOW because Keith was leaving at 5 am and would be gone until Friday. When he would come home to find starving cats and me in the closed door bedroom having died from choking overnight. So, to avoid starving cats I left my bedroom door open so that if I did die the indoor cats could come and eat me if they were desperate enough. The outdoor cats would just have to find a mouse or something.

Silly things you think about when you feel like you are choking to death from all the PHLEGM in your throat.

I did find a solution, after some research (thank you, internet, what did we ever do before you were invented) I came to the conclusion that it was probably from post nasal drip (SNOT, another ugly but perfectly descriptive word) going down into my throat and if I took some allergy pills and drank some chamomile tea that would probably help a lot. Musinex also helped a lot although like so many name brand meds, it is ridiculously expensive.

So, snot and phlegm problems fixed for the most part.

Now, shopping.

What used to be a pleasurable activity, going to the mall or shopping center to shop for stuff is just another chore these days. I just don't enjoy shopping for the most part, although I do like Target even if I'm just buying toilet paper. I haven't spent an afternoon in a shopping mall in years and years. It just doesn't appeal anymore, I'd rather just stay home. I did want to go to the bookstore this weekend, not my usual Goodwill bookstore, but the real last surviving bookstore because I wanted to find some certain books by certain authors and I didn't want to order them from Amazon and then have to wait a week or so to get them. So, on Sunday morning I went to run some other errands and stopped off at Barnes and Noble to look for those certain books. Which most of they didn't have since they were published a few years ago. I did find one book and headed up to the checkout counter, where I was waylaid by the bargain book section, where I found about six more books by authors that I like. Arms loaded with books, I go get in line behind a few other people, and then I wait. And wait. And wait. The lone cashier, an older lady who apparently enjoys working at Barnes and Noble for the social aspect, was chatting with each of her customers about the latest books or whatever the hell she was chatting about. Finally, the people in front of me go up to the counter and they have a return which apparently is a big huge deal because it was a gift and while they did have a gift receipt the woman felt that she had to explain the whole gift receipt thing and how long they had to exchange their gift and by this time I'm getting a little (actually a lot) impatient and the books edges are digging lines into my forearms from holding them so long and there is no place to set them down and I'm about ready to just say f*&k it and go home and order them from Amazon after all.

Another sales woman comes up to the checkout counter and after some futzing around finally opens another register and when she asks me how I'm doing today, instead of being polite and just saying fine, I tell her that I'm tired of standing in line and the experience has made me remember why I usually order books online or go to the used bookstore. Which was not the answer she was expecting. And it's probably the last time I will go into Barnes and Noble, and maybe part of the reason they will soon be out of business is that other people get tired of standing in line, too.

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