Sometimes

I feel like a cat waitress. First thing in the morning I have four of them waiting for me to get up and go open a can of food. Never mind that on work days they have already gotten dry food conveniently poured into separate bowls by Keith at 5am, bowls also conveniently placed around the kitchen so that nobody has to share or eat too close to anyone else. When I get up they know it's wet food time. I put four bowls onto the counter by the sink where Buddy is not so patiently waiting for his food, checking out each bowl like something will magically appear, and watching my every move. Sometimes I like to tease him by going from counter to counter with the can of food, him following me from counter to counter. I'd really like to wander from room to room with that can of food someday just to see how long he will follow me around.

Buddy likes to sit on the counter to eat, Pepper is on one side of the island counter on the floor, away from those 'other' cats because she hates everyone, and Mimi and Bear are on the other side of the island counter on the floor and will sit side by side for their breakfast. By the time I get everyone's bowls down, Buddy is usually done with his and wants to see what everyone else has because their bowl looks better than his or something.

If it's not the right food Mimi will let me know by scratching the floor by the food bowl, much like when she is in the cat box, so I'm assuming she thinks the food is shit and is trying to cover it up. Then she will walk away like you expect me to eat that shitty smelling food?

Then it's time to go out front to feed Lucy. She doesn't eat wet food, preferring dry, so I take her bowl outside and then have to sit and wait while she eats so that all the cats from next door and a couple of stray cats don't come and steal her food. She just kind of steps to the side and lets them eat, except for Bandit who she doesn't like and will snarl at. She won't bother the little black cat from next door but will just let him sneak his little self in to take over the bowl. I usually let her eat until she walks away from the bowl, pick up the bowl and bring it back inside, and then take it back out about 30 minutes later because I know she is still hungry but if I leave the bowl outside then it will be completely emptied by all the other cats. Who know the sound of the front door closing and are watching and listening from across the street or in the driveway where I can't see them.

And then the backyard cats need their wet food. We put one of those self feeders for the dry food inside the shed and that seems to be working out well except for when Bandit (very appropriate name now that I think about it) tries to sneak in the shed to steal food, usually causing yowling and snarling and hissing and Bandit being chased off by Dusty and us being awakened in the middle of the night by yowling, snarling, and hissing. So, I open another can of wet food, saving a little for Harri who won't eat with the other indoor cats first thing in the morning because she is so nervous. I take two bowls of food outside where two cats are frantically waiting because they are STARVING AND WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG NEVER MIND THAT WE DO HAVE A SELF FEEDER THAT IS BESIDE THE POINT and feed us already!

And then, Harri, who is usually in the garage when I get up in the morning, the garage that she is stuck in until somebody goes to open the door because she won't go through the cat door but will just sit there and look through it and wait until someone sees her and opens the door. So how does she get in there in the first place? Keith opens the door in the morning to get stuff for work and she follows him in, or during the day she will sit by the door on the kitchen side, wanting to go in there because it's quieter but then we forget that we let her in there and here we go again, with her sitting staring at us through the cat door. That she won't go through.

She has to eat on the counter, looking over her shoulder to make sure nobody is going to bother her, so another placement of a bowl of dry food and I'm trying to get her to eat more wet food, so some of that beside the dry food bowl. She also won't drink out of the kitty water fountain, preferring her water to be on the bathroom counter and freshly drawn thank you very much.

And then later I have to round up all the cat bowls and wash them so not only am I the waitress but the dishwasher too.