Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Marquis de Sade School of Dentistry

Yup, I'm positive that the dentist I went to today graduated with honors from that particular school. I really think she totally enjoyed watching me wince at each jab and scrape.
I have to go in every three months for a periodontal cleaning since I am having periodontal issues. The last time I went in I had my teeth cleaned by the hygienist and it was relatively pain free.
Not this time.
The hygienist is out on some kind of medical leave-stress related maybe?-so the regular dentist had to clean my teeth. I had never seen this woman before, the dental office we go to seems to change dentists about as often as I change my underwear, and I don't think she was too happy at having to do hygienist work today. She used that supersonic water jet thing and when you have sensitive teeth and gums anyway, that is like having little tiny needles jabbed into your gums. And then after she was done with that, she scraped the heck out of some of my teeth, jabbed my gums some more, and then told me to come back in three months for some more torture. Can't wait.
Remember the Dustin Hoffman movie 'Marathon Man', where he is being tortured by having holes drilled in his teeth while being asked 'is it safe'? That was me today, I kept wanting to yell out 'it's safe, it's safe!'

Tomorrow Bear goes to the vet to get her teeth cleaned. They use general anesthesia. So, next time I think I will just go to the vet to get my teeth cleaned. It sounds much more humane.

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