Sunday, April 5, 2009

Do Not Try This at Home

Do not take a dulcolax (laxative) pill before going to bed, no matter that the package says it will guarantee 'gentle overnight relief'. Gentle my ass.

I've been having some extreme not being able to properly poop issues this week and have not been feeling well because of it. I drink my metamucil at night, eat an apple most days, and try to get some sort of fiber each day, but apparently not enough fiber, hence the issues. Well, yesterday was the worst, and besides not being able to properly poop which makes my stomach hurt, it was making me more cranky than usual and really really uncomfortable. So, against my better judgement and in the hopes of some gentle overnight relief I took a dulcolax pill (left over from when I had my colonoscopy, so that should have made me stop right there) before going to bed last night.

At 3 am I was awakened by EXTREME intestinal cramping. EXTREME! But no gentle relief. I tried to get comfortable and get back to sleep, but it's hard to sleep when your intestines feel like they are being tied up in knots.

I did doze in and out the rest of the night and woke up not so refreshed at 7, fed the cats, clutching at my abdomen, got some coffee, and tried to go poop, but no gentle relief.

Now, here's how you know your husband loves you (or he's just a little twisted). He got the enema bag out (left over from both of our colonoscopies) and helped give me a enema. And it worked.

I still don't feel well, my insides feel a little queasy, which I think is a result of the not so gentle dulcolax pill (like I said, don't try this at home) and I feel tired and still kind of cranky.

So, I did a little googling on the best fibery foods to eat to avoid constipation, discovering that most of the best fibery foods are things that I really don't like, such as brussel sprouts and broccoli (ugh), but apples are up there, cauliflower, which I do like, cabbage, which tastes pretty good when you make coleslaw and drown it in tangy coleslaw dressing, and oatmeal, which we have plenty of since we bought the buy one get one free mega tubs of oatmeal.

And metamucil, which I'm going to start drinking 3 times a day instead of just once a day. The only thing I don't like about metamucil is that you have to constantly stir it so that you don't get the big slimy metamucil wad at the bottom of your glass that you shouldn't drink because it can choke you to death. Seriously, read the label.

Uh-oh, that dulcolax is finally kicking in-gotta go!


Jennifer said...

Try Benefiber apparently you can dd it to your coffee. I learned this over the weekend while we were at Jeremy's uncles birthday party. They gave him some for a gift and then everybody startd taling about it and how the put it in their coffee so tht they get their fiber each day.

Jim and Heather on Meerkat said...

Oh boy...
But gotta say I do love that hubby of your's! What a guy!!!